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More Pics in the updated PHOTO GALLERY  includes POSH NOSH, EUROHASH, YORKSHIRE and runs up to 974
Oi, do me a favour. Check out the Hash Awards page, I've spent ages updating it |
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999
  
POLITE NOTICE The real Entryx2 The offending image |
Evenin' all. We've had a few villians around the Manor recently, trying to con you good folk out of your hard earned. Impersonating an authorised deposit taker for personal gain is a serious crime and, never fear, Inspector Crawford is on the case. But it's always as well to be on your guard. Only give your 999/ 1000 deposits to Double Entry - if you're unsure, just point a camera at her and she'll look just like our ID photo. Get those deposits paid - it's going to be a great August Bank Holiday Weekend in Suffolk - but make sure they are paid to a genuine Entry Entry. Any problems just call Andy at The Green on 9991000.
Take care now.
Oh, before you go, something else you might be able to help us with.
At the Red Dress Run the HM was kindly inviting hariettes to "kiss my ass".
Nothing wrong with that on a hash you might think and you'd be quite right.
But a few days later an inappropriate image arrived in your Scribe's inbox.
Now fortunately The Count is licensed by Her Majesty to deal in such material, but we're pretty sure the sender isn't. The unlicensed capturing and distribution of offensive images of retired people is a very serious offence: if you can give us any infomation at all - phone Andy at the Nick on 9991000. Entryx2, who takes a great interest in camera crime and seems to have a bit of surplus cash at present, has offered a reward on this one. Mind how you go now.
DoDG |
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Run No 975
Sunday 6 March 2010
Waggon & Horses, Steeple Morden
Hares: Capt F (+ Big Blouse & Kinky of CH3)
HASHERS: 23 ANKLE BITERS: 3 MUTTS: 3 APRES: 1
+ loads from Cambrdge H3 for JOINT RUN
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Clear blue skies, clear green fields
Big Blouse, No Knickers, Bar and Dump
Shagpile glad to meet long lost love child
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Private Parts patrols the extremely large 975 circle
The weather was quite stunning. Cloudless blue skies and as the day progressed even a bit of warmth from the sun. However it was bitterly cold when the three intrepid hares set off to lay the trail at 8am on Sunday morning.
Laying the trail with Kinky and Big Blouse was a pleasure. It was great to see Big Blouse again after a prolonged absence, and I really enjoyed chatting with Kinky as we laid the trail in some of Cambridgeshire’s finest countryside. However, we were not really focussed on the job in hand as it transpired half way through the trail that Kinky and I had been following the protocols of our own hashes with regard to the trail markings. This clearly was going to cause confusion later on, but it was far too late to remedy.
Having finished laying the trail, the hares were invited back to chez Big Blouse for a cuppa and a toasted hot-cross bun. I always knew that he was a star and a gentleman. I also enjoyed the beer stop. Big Blouse & No Knickers had gone to a lot of trouble. Their trestle table was simply heaving under the weight of all those beers, a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels, and some rather dubious looking Czech liqueur [it was loverly ....ed].
The circle at the end of the run was also great. I loved the Cambridge hash songs which were seriously amusing and I have to say it was 100% pure vintage hash entertainment.
ON ON TO SOMEWHERE NICE Capt F
SERIOUS BIT: In H5 we all love Capt Fantaaaastic. It is inconceivable to us that anything on a Run could rile him: but it clearly did on 975. I rarely censor a Hare's Wurdz but on this occassion I've cut a bit even though I agree with it's sentiments. I just fear it may have come across to some as a bit negative: something Capt F never is and The Words try not to be. So please indulge me this once Capt, let's talk about it over a beer at one of your favourite pubs next weekend. Scribe
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Gorjoyce in down-down mode
CRK Christens 250 award shirt
Underlay with 400 Awards
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Run No 974
Sunday 28 February 2010
The Crown, Willington
Hares: Donut & Airscrew
HASHERS: 13 MUTTS: 1 APRES: 9 |
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Entryx2 goes for triple camera protection
Trail damp bordering on moist in places
Capt F & Shaggy find a cosy spot for a cuddle
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A gruelling morning, freezing cold wind and rain hit us as we laid the run and both Hares thought we'd have to endure it again for the main run, but thankfully it eased off nicely. Although the deep mud and overflowing streams were still a constant hazard! After 30 minutes warming up in the car, the pack circled up. PP told us it was the anniversary of his first Solo….?.... the mind boggles!!
The pack ran multiple false trails before Capt F led everybody out to the main road and then in to the fields. Chester got loose and decided to take on a rather large horse but soon realised he was no match. Once dog was reunited with owner and the pack grouped, it was into the field of ‘thick shiggy’ – calf muscles aching, but no shoes lost, the pack made its way to a waiting Donut, who promptly made the first 4 run to the back! A quick photo op in front of the cottage called ‘Little Ash’ – very apt due to the shocking inclement weather and therefore a somewhat diminished pack! Then it was on to a ladies check.
Underlay clearly knew where she was and led the pack quickly on the right route. Airscrew did call ‘hold the next check’ but when he arrived found the front runners checking out the various options….puzzled, he then realised that some idiot had parked his red car on the Check, laid only a few hours earlier! Luckily the routes being checked where all false trails and the pack regrouped. Donut, cunningly held a gate open enticing the pack to run another falsie along the river – oh, nasty Hare!
A long run down the cycle path towards Bedford then ensued, with the odd 3 to the back to keep the FRB’s occupied. At the next bar, PP decided to head into the undergrowth, but was called back by the call of ‘ON-ON’ by Shufflecock. The next check was quickly figured out by mister super fit, Capt F, as he disappeared off into the distance….a 3 to the back and a loop under the new bypass bridge kept the front runners entertained until the pack re-grouped at a Held Check. Donut laid an SC, which almost everybody took, but after some encouragement by Airscrew a pack of 5 headed into the quagmire of mud fields! and actually managed to get to the next check quicker than the SC’s!
The path took everybody back to the main cycle path (infamous red car), the laying of a new check on the way out and the opening of a gate, formed a new route for the pack to follow. But no one actually believed Donut so tentatively started along the river side. One thing the Hares hadn’t anticipated was that the river would burst its banks in places, so what was a muddy trail 2 hours earlier had turned into deep cold pools of water for all to run through….Here, Shagpile proved to be Gorjoyce’s knight in shinning armour, as he rushed back to carry her over the muddy waters!At the last held check next to the bridge, a photo op for Capt F and Shaggy was convened before a straight run in past ‘Danish Village’ and ‘ON INN’ back to the pub - and loads of complimentary fodder.
Down downs were awarded to the Hares, PP for his first solo!, Gorjoyce & Double Entry for carrying umbrellas, Shagpile got the FRB award for running the SC and fast backwards to assist Gorjoyce! Plus one or two from RA Rapid Withdrawal.
ON-ON to The Wagon & Horses – joint with Cambs.
Donut & Airscrew
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Position 36, moist version
Shaggy hits a sticky patch
Shagpile takes FRB award
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Run No 973
Sunday 21 February 2010
Engineers Arms, Henlow
Hares: G-String & Skid Mark
HASHERS: 19 NEWBEE: 1 ANKLE BITERS: 3 MUTTS: 2 APRES: 4
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Underlay has the FRB award ..
.. Capt F has the Hashit ..
... and Twiglet can keep his 50 run tankard
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What happened to the Wurdz this week then?
Well it's worth reiterating that the Wurdz belong to the Hares and the Scribe merely facilitates their distribution. On this occassion your Scribe did drag an admission from G-String that Skidmark had given him some time, without distraction from lovely wife or beautiful daughter, with the sole function of finishing off 973 with a few well chosen. But he did admit that the lure of a sneaky pie & chips was drawing him away from his keyboard.
Shagpile warned me about this one. "The bugegrs won't do 'em without fear of retribution or if you keep covering for them Count" was more or less what he said.
Retribution. I do have that infamous picture of Skidmark's bum. If I published that because G-String couldn't be arsed to do a bit of typing.... well, I wouldn't like to be on the end of that one. On the other hand I probably would. No that's not a great idea.
There are too many brewers in the country for an embargo to work, and he's three times the weight limit I set for hand to hand combat. There's not a lot I can do.
But I will rule out covering for them. The Posh Stop for G&Ts at Shuffle's gaff was a fairly novel twist, the "knock the duck into the pond with a chunk of bread" contest was mildly amusing but victorless, the Grantham's Gold in The Engineers was tasty, it was good to see Newbee Carmen, and as Pongo said ... what the heck did Thongo say? But it's not my job to tell you any of that.
No G-String, Skidmark, I will remember you leaving a big white gap in the middle of my pics. And my day will come.
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Yes, Rapid you did look like a twit
The obligatory duckfeed stop
G&Ts at the Posh Stop
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Where did you get that, young lady?  Smashin' Grab with only slight dressing as evidence of how she came by Bonnie, born 9 months and 3 minutes after her fairy tale wedding. Looks happy with her spoils doesn't she? |
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 Run No 972
Sunday 14 February 2010
Red Lion, Preston
Hares: Private Parts & CRk
HASHERS: 28 ANKLE BITERS: 4 MUTTS: 2 APRES: 3
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A lot of red and some dresses
How thoughtful of Preston PC ....
.. to provide fun for our kids
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St Valentines Day. A time for a young man, fresh from healthy exercise in the countryside, to be turning his thoughts to affairs of the heart, not struggling to pen Wurdz to amuse you lot. At least that's the way I put it to PP, but he was having none of it. "I'm busy Count, you'll have to do 'em" he said, so here we go.
Cold, wet and miserable, you might say the weather was. But hot, moist and happy was H5 after a classic hash: a well crafted run in super country with extensive shiggy and lots of laughs. If I don't say it, in the absence of Pongo, who will?
Not the most auspicious of starts as Madge felt too poorly too join us and shivered her way back into Bangers' car, and Skidmark and G-String shortened the life of the planet by about six months by turning up in two huge gas guzzlers. But eventually the mixture of red cardigans, pink dressing gowns and really quite elegant little numbers left the car park and, like the lovely people they are, they managed to buy all 3 false trails from the village green before heading south on the right trail.
After making the most of the fine country, and largely speaking keeping together, we arrived at "Smiffo's Field" only to find the bullocks who chased the great man were much older, smaller and more docile than we remember them: also they were having a nice bail of hay for lunch and couldn't be arsed to be riled by red rags. Until Skidmark and Rainbow arrived. But fear ye not: pushing aside PP it was Double Entry who headed off the herd and sent them packing.
Into Preston and the trail involved negotiating some play equipment laid out by the Parish Council, I firmly believe, for children in the H5 age group. Oh what fun we had. Especially those of us who saw the expression on the face of "Enraged of Preston" who no doubt spent the afternoon penning a letter to the local MP.
In the circle each of Team RA stepped forward to add his own twist to the morning's events. Donut, Capt F, Lady P (provider of super heart-shaped shortbread for apres), Twiglet, Shuffle, FKR, all felt the wrath of their religious zeal. Rapid Withdrawal received the FRB award but it was G-String who stole the show.
ON ON to THE ENGINEERS CRk
G-String: dressed for the occassion, imitating a Tory MP (for Skidmark's 200 award, accepted on her behalf) and modelling the new Hashit
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Fine run with excellent haring ..
.. that lead to confusion in the hash
FRB award for our esteemed RA
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Run No 971
Sunday 7 February 2010
Musgrave Arms, Apsley End
Hares: Gorjoyce & Shufflecock
HASHERS: 23 ANKLE BITERS: 1 MUTTS: 3 APRES: 1
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Henceforth known as "Submissive"
PP gets his teeth into a DownDown
The Count not too sure about shandy
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Another hash, another large crowd, not sure what the RA is putting in the down-downs to attract everyone but its certainly working.
With the hash called to order, a cat & mouse photo session started between Count Roadkill and Double Entry which was to last all hash, with the hand once more being mighter than the camera lens [see also PHOTO GALLERY], however I believe the Count is determined to get that one elusive shot before turning his attention to easier targets like the the loch ness monster, the yeti & the sober hasher. The GM gave his Willy to Truly to look after, some-one forgot to bring the hashit and everyone forgot who forgot to bring the hashit.
The run set off south, then went around the back of the pub, stopped for a photo opportunity, and then on towards Shillington. Forking got lost early on, G-String romped far ahead, only to lose everyone, look at his GPS and find he was going in the completely opposite direction and Alex showed she was limbo champion [or submissive enough to take it on .... ed]. Both hares took hugh amounts of abuse for the length of the trail, and the fact that at 12.45 we were still heading away from the pub.
Digressing slightly but does being slapped by Truly constitute abuse or enjoyment? Just wondering like.
Anyway with ears burning we finally made it the church and the start pubwards. Quick jaunt down the hill and onto the pavement for a long On Inn for the runners.
We got back to the pub to find White Rabbit already at the bar wondering where we were: personally I blame everyone for joining the knitting circle, Gorjoyce did keep informing them all to lift their knees, but did anyone pay attention, did they ********.
In the circle Gorjoyce surprised everyone by actually drinking a down-down, she made up for later with a more normal routine, before Capt F showed off his version. Private Parts got his teeth into his down-down, while The Count found a shandy not too his taste. But the circle was dominated by the RA naming a hasher, and so we all welcomed Submissive.
I forgot to mention that we'd all forgotten who had forgotten to bring the hashit to the hash, hopefully they wont forget next week [I thought you remembered but it's a long time ago now ..... ed].
On-on to that well known Italian restuarent - The Taj Mahal and Gispert's Run.
Shuffle Cock
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Fat Controller, flies the flag
DownDown techniques #7 "The Gorjoyce"
Capt F's variation on "The Gorjoyce"
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Run No 970
Sunday 31 January 2010
Chequers, Streatley
Hares: PP & Capt F
HASHERS: 26 NEWBEE: 1
ANKLE BITERS: 2 MUTTS: 3 APRES: 1
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Double Entry, surrounded by minders
Shagpile gives Rapid the Horn
RA Forking accuses while ....
.....Madge fancies a pee on his hat
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Sunday morning and for some darned reason I decided to cycle to the hash on the old clunker. One hour in sub-zero temperatures and I could feel nothing above or below the waist and some parts of my anatomy had completely disappeared or at least it felt like it.Good job I got there nice and early because it took me five minutes to get my gloves off my fingers were so flippin cold. I felt a heck of a lot better though after I received a bit of vigorous rub down from
Gorjoyce and Pussies Galore.
Despite the cold it was yet another good turn-out and our Globe-trotting visitor Le Voisen joined us for a second week in succession. There was only one birthday this week and it was none other than the less than aptly named Legs11.
The on is called and the pack set off. A number of false trails followed, but the pack generally kept together apart from the irrepressible Shagpile & Underlay who somehow mysteriously manage to disappear over the horizon without being spotted by either hare.
Eventually the pack moves out of the environs of Streatly and set off inevitably towards the Clappers. First to arrive at the Ladies check were Alex & Skid Mark. Its quite a long stretch now before before the FRB(?)s arrive at the 8-check. Still no sign of Shagpile and Underlay, so one can only assume they are either well back (having lost their way) or perhaps they have missed (or perhaps ignored) the check.
Bangers takes up the cause and checks out a fairly long falsie, but no-one else seems to be bothered in following so eventually the hare calls it false shorter than originally intended. The next stretch is along a footpath, but eventually the pack emerges into open fields and lo and behold we finally spy our errant hounds. They were not lost, but had simply failed to hear the on-calls back at the start of the run. As the pack set off, Shufflecock is encouraged to check out one the steeper trails. He really did look thoroughly pleased at the bottom when he realized how many ergs he would burn up getting back to the rest of the pack.
We cross the road and finally enter the clappers. Meandering here and there, up and down, round and round, through a forest, across fields, beautiful views everywhere. The sun-shine was brilliant and the sky a beautiful blue. Hashing really does not get much better than on days like this, but a smidge warmer would have been appreciated.
Numbered checks were liberally applied in an attempt to keep the group together. It pretty much worked and the knitting circle was never too far behind.
Back across the road, the hares cunningly re-used the out trail for the return back to the pub. Talking of which, the choice of beers and the ambience was really good. Pongo, found the best spot in the pub as he was seen warming his cheeks on a toasty warm radiator.
Down-downs were awarded to the birthday girl Legs-11. Capt F, Knobber & Scooper got one for racing. Shagpile & Underlay got theirs for going astray and making little effort to rejoin the rest of the pack. The RA got one for failing to recognise White Rabbit.
ON-ON to Run 971 at the Musgrave Arms Apsley End and brought to you by team ShuffleCock & Gorjoyce
Capt F
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Fat Controller, mole in joke mode
Rapid & FKR, are people talking?
Shagpile was booked for dissent
Ringer turned his back on Gorjoyce
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